Sports Karma

NFL Week 7

1.) Oh, the kickers. 62-yard game winner for the Bucs. 53-yard game winner for the Chiefs. A geriatric guy wanders on to the field during the Atlanta/Pittsburgh game and unknowingly kicks the winning field goal for the Falcons. A nursing home official from Shady Groves in Decatur, GA released a statement, saying "We don't know how Mr. Anderson escaped our facility, but we are very pleased with the outcome of the game. We have since located Mr. Anderson, who was found confused and inebriated at a local gentlemen's club, and now he is resting comfortably." Way to go, Mort.

2.) RAIDERS WIN!! RAIDERS WIN!! And people are still questioning Art Shell's ability to coach. Can you believe it? At least Denny Green has taken over the handle of "Worst Coach in the League Who Can't Even Beat the Raiders." Sadly, there was no 3-year-old-style blowup at Green's press conference following the game. There was, however, a loaded gun, a full bottle of antidepressants, and a half-empty bottle of Grey Goose found in Green's SUV upon arrival to the Cardinal's facility. He is now on 24-hour suicide watch.

3.) I see FOX has abandoned their "Let's Copy ESPN's College Gameday Pregame Show Experiment (LCECGPSE)," where they broadcast from the marquee game's parking lot. Meanwhile Joe Buck is temporarily back in the booth where he belongs, doing the World Series broadcasts, and Curt Menefee has taken over until the Series is over.

Can't FOX just admit they made a mistake and bring back James Brown? He looks like he's having so much more fun on the family-friendly CBS pregame show, but I bet he's still got a soft spot for Bradshaw. The only thing worth watching these days on FOX is the brief Frank Caliendo spots, and that's not saying much.

4.) Does anyone really like Michael Irvin, or respect his opinions? Anyone?

5.) The Colts are annoyingly good. Granted, they played a hideous Washington team at home, but they looked just as good as they did at this point last year. They gained almost the same amount of rushing yards as Washington (110-114), and passed for 131 more yards. So, we can look forward to more "undefeated" crap for the next few weeks, followed by the Colts getting beat by a non-playoff team in week 12, pretending that they don't care, then losing in the AFC Championship, with Manning criticizing everyone but himself in post-game comments. Sound familiar?

6.) When did Chris Colinsworth become the undisputed "Best NFL Analyst" these days? I've been reading articles by every major sports columnist saying this. Ok, he does look like he has a pool cue shoved from his ass to the back of his head, but overall I do like the guy's commentary. However, I just don't see him telling the audience anything groundbreaking.

College Football

7.) No major upsets to report this week. It was kind of anticlimactic following the Miami/Florida Atlantic debaucle, Vanderbilt upsetting Georgia, and Indiana knocking Iowa from the polls last week.

8.) It was a little wierd to see that much snow falling in Lincoln, Nebraska at this time of year. You just don't think of Nebraska and snow.

Speaking of that game, I really don't like Brent Musburger's voice. Have you ever noticed that it gets very monotone at exciting plays, and very excited at inappropriate times? For instance:

"touchdown, nebraska, on a 90-yard flea-flicker triple option halfback pass."

vs.

"Troy Smith throws the screen pass, and IT'S BROKEN UP BY THE LINEBACKER FOR MICHIGAN, WHICH BRINGS UP SECOND DOWN AND 10 IN THE FIRST QUARTER!!!! YEEEEEEAAAAAAAOOOOOWWW!!!

Television

9.) If you're like me, and really don't give a crap about the World Series this year, last night was a really bad night for television. Unless you really wanted to watch the Heroes marathon (which I'm sure some of you did), it was uncharted territory for Sunday nights during football season. I found myself staring at a blank TV, looking like a confused Morten Anderson, wondering what to do.

10.) I did end up watching a new VH-1 show later in the evening, which featured "celebrities" exploring some of the most haunted buildings in the United States. Last night they were in South Louisville, at an old sanatorium for tuberculosis patients. The only good thing about this show was that Gary Busey was present, and I'll watch anything with that guy in it. He's the most insane thing to happen to TV since the first season of Fraggle Rock. I can't look away.

11.) I eventually fell asleep to a Garth Brooks documentary, which gave me very real and disturbing dreams. The only thing I'll say is that I didn't sleep well. Other than that, I don't want to talk about it.